The Destinies of Darcy Dancer, Gentleman by Donleavy J. P

Author:Donleavy, J. P. [Donleavy, J. P.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Perseus Books Group
Published: 2007-11-30T20:00:00+00:00

The grass

Where last

He was known

15

Darcy Dancer crossing the gravel as rain begins to fall. The wind rising. And the clouds scudding grey. Kern and Olav with their big black cold moist noses wagging tails smacking me either side. Climb the steps. The front great door of Andromeda Park locked. Bang the knocker and pull the bell. Till the minutes pass. And the door comes finally scraping and squealing open. Crooks in one of my father’s blue velvet smoking jackets and slippers. His collar open and his tie hanging loose. And his crossed eyes, one looking nearly north now the other entirely south. With soup stains as usual all over him.

‘Lord save us, Master Reginald. I was about to get the shotgun to inquire of your business. What has happened to you.’

‘I have been in a manner of speaking out hunting. Horse ran off with me.’

‘Surely you’re maimed. Without hunting jacket, breeches and boots.’

‘I am in fact, quite in one solid piece. And do believe I am just in time for tea. And are you to keep me out here Crooks.’

‘Begging your pardon Master Reginald. Welcome home. I was only telling Catherine this minute ago in the kitchen that you’d be knocking over the opposition like nine pins in the rugger scrum. Well it’s a most commendable school that has its own pack of hounds.’

Darcy Dancer entering the front hall. To see the disappearing black shadow of a back and a bowler hat. Heading away down towards the schoolroom. Stand here. Watched by the centuries of Thormonds on the walls. In their robes and rich raiment. Wondering what on earth in rags the cat dragged in. To their great grand sanctum. And who should now sidle over and so earnestly toast his bottom with the dying embers of their fire.

‘Who goes there, Crooks.’

‘It’s the agent, Master Reginald. He was only the while ago paying off some of the men.’

‘Tell him in future not to wear his hat in this house. Most inappropriate behaviour.’

‘Very well Master Reginald.’

‘Where is Miss von B.’

‘Taking tea in the north parlour. Will you be joining her.’

‘Yes as a matter of fact. I shall.’

‘Master Reginald, I don’t wish to be impertinent but is there something wrong.’

‘Perhaps. Fetch tea. If you will please.’

‘Won’t you want a wash and brush up. And to get out of, forgive me for saying, those rags.’

‘Presently.’

‘With all due respect Master Reginald, it would, if one did not know you as well as I do, be hard now to tell who you were.’

‘That is quite understandable but it also can have its advantages. Now would you mind awfully Crooks, please doing as you are told.’

‘Very good.’

Darcy Dancer watching Crooks depart. Everything of his clothes too big for him. His accent seems to be slipping as well. Sounds one second like a minister of foreign affairs and the next like the true treacherous bog man he is. At least the grand staircase hasn’t yet collapsed. And everything seems as it was before. Miss von B must have been having a most leisured pleasured time.

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